Counselling Services

Sometimes life gets hard in ways that are difficult to explain. You might feel flat, disconnected, or just not quite yourself.

What usually holds us back

Many of us tell ourselves: "Others have it worse. I should manage on my own. What will people think?" These thoughts are understandable — but they can keep us stuck.

What to expect

A first session isn't about having all the answers. Your counsellor's job is to listen — to help you feel heard, and to gently explore what's going on together.

Anxiety isn't only mental — you might notice tightness in your chest, restlessness, disrupted sleep, or constant low-level tension. These are real, physical signs that your body is on high alert.

How anxiety shows up

• Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
• Racing thoughts that won't slow down
• Tension headaches or jaw clenching
• Stomach upset, loss of appetite
• Avoiding people or situations

The Singapore Mental Health Study (2016) found anxiety affects ~9.8% of Singaporeans, but most don't seek help.

Research shows just 15–20 minutes of writing a few times a week leads to measurable improvements in mood and well-being. Writing externalises feelings that swirl inside, giving them shape and distance.

Three prompts to try

You don't need to journal every day. Once or twice a week, when something is weighing on you, is enough.

Dr. John Gottman's 40+ years of research identified four communication patterns that reliably predict relationship breakdown — what he calls "The Four Horsemen":

• Criticism — attacking character ("You always...")
• Contempt — eye-rolling, sarcasm, mockery
• Defensiveness — making excuses, refusing responsibility
• Stonewalling — withdrawing, shutting down

The 5:1 ratio

Healthy relationships have at least 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative. Small daily kindnesses build emotional savings.

In Singapore, the "sandwich generation" cares for ageing parents while raising children. The DOS Singapore (2023) reports 1 in 5 Singaporeans is now 65+, rising to 1 in 4 by 2030.

Signs of caregiver burnout

• Constant fatigue, even after rest
• Resentment toward the person you're caring for (and guilt)
• Withdrawing from friends or activities
• Neglecting your own health
• Feeling trapped or hopeless

The Agency for Integrated Care (AIC) Singapore provides caregiver support at 1800-650-6060.

Depression and anxiety in older adults are often dismissed as "normal aging" — but they are not. The IMH Singapore Mental Health Study (2016) found that nearly 1 in 5 seniors over 75 experienced clinically significant depression.

Common challenges in later life

• Loss of a spouse or close friends
• Health changes and reduced independence
• Loneliness and social isolation
• Adjusting to retirement
• Caring for an ageing partner

🎁 Counselling is completely free for ages 65+ at SBFC. Call 6841 3370 or use the booking form.

Growing up in Singapore comes with high expectations — from school, family, and yourself. The pressure can feel relentless.

Signs you might benefit from talking to someone

• Sleep is affected (too much or too little)
• Withdrawing from friends or hobbies
• Constant worry about exams or future
• Feeling numb, empty, or hopeless
• Thoughts of self-harm (please reach out immediately)

If you're in crisis, please call SOS (Samaritans of Singapore) at 1767 — 24 hours, free, confidential.